It is the ache in the small moments. You’ve had a bad day. You’ve had a good day. You’ve seen something beautiful whilst on a walk. You’ve cooked something nice. You simply want a hug. But the person you most want to share these moments and experiences with is hundreds of miles away. How do you hold on to closeness when someone you love isn’t there?
It can be hard navigating a long-distance relationship, and a lot of people tell you that it’s difficult, or that it won’t work out. But I know that my relationship is genuine, and full of love and compassion. I know that it is worth the time, effort, and sometimes hardship that occurs when you live apart. We both work hard to keep showing up for one another, and between the phone calls, facetimes, and photos – is the knowledge that we will be together again soon, whenever that may be. And one day, ‘see you later’ will become ‘see you at home’ – and we will be thankful of the distance that made us so grateful for that change.
Your twenties are always a time of change, of exploration and discovery – and it’s not just romantic relationships that stretch across distance. In your twenties, it can feel like everyone is scattering, spreading the university nest, and trying to find their path. Friends who once lived down the road, or even down the stairs, are now miles away – buried in new jobs and cities. You leave university, home, or the comfort of a shared routine, and then suddenly the people who knew your everyday are part of your yesterdays instead. There is the familiar struggle of finding a date to meet up, involving a five-stage process involving three calendars, two reschedules, and the vague hope that trains won’t be on strike – again…
But the best kind of friendships and relationships – the ones sewn with trust and ease, don’t unravel with space. Instead, they bind tighter, as the thread that holds you together is being held from both ends. You reunite and it is like nothing has changed and no time has passed. You simply slot back in, reconnecting where you left off when you were last together. It is the reminder that: I’m still here. You still matter.
It is easy to think that connection requires constant presence – and of course there is nothing I’d love more than to be with the people I love the most more, but maybe it is more about consistency than constancy. It is about choosing to reach out, even when life feels full, or even when life feels overwhelming. Distance teaches you that love and friendship don’t just happen, but they are built.
If there is one thing I’ve learned, it is that closeness doesn’t always depend on geography. It lives in the way we show up, and whilst the ache in the small moments doesn’t disappear (and I don’t think it ever will), neither does the love. It stretches, adapts and shows up in different ways, small ways. It presents itself via a message, a memory, or a kind thought. The thing about distance is – it doesn’t have to push away what is important. Sometimes, it just reminds us how much it matters.
Life of Becky 
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